I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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