we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
ugly people sure do ruin things
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
