This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
