So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize