Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
