Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
