at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
