there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
