I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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