babies were throwing up all over the place
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
