You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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