; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
