I just made out with a guy for $7.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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