**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There's always time for handjobs
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
