Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize