I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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