no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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