youre lurking in front of me
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
