I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
