Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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