it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
