is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
