i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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