I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
