I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
A+ Viking dick
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
