Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
