woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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