he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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