Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
