Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
