so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
