I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
