When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
God, I missed his penis.
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