Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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