Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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