Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
