He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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