If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize