Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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