last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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