VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
