direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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