I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
