I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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