I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize