Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
