After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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