My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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