Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
