Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
