Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I showed him my bush... on skype.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
