We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
