Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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