this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
