I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Be still, my beating vagina.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
