you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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