I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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