no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
