Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
