What a fucking waste of an outfit
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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