Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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