I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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