It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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