if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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