So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
